As 2012 gets off to a busy start, I made a decision to eliminate some words from my life to whatever degree possible.

These words just aren’t ever helpful, and are too often hurtful.   Rather than just make a list and vow never to use them again.  I wanted to have a bit of a ceremony, even a burial, to attach the proper significance to removing them from my life.  I considered a bonfire at the beach, but figured I’d get in trouble for that.  So, to honor my Norweigian heritage, I decided on a proper Viking funeral – send them off in a burning ship.

Now, finding the burning ship and place to launch it proved more daunting than anticipated.  Not to be deterred, I engaged my eldest to put his origami skills to use creating a suitable vessel.   Now in posession of a paper canoe, I can write these words on slips and paper, and tonight we shall celebrate their demise in the bathtub.

First up, “Should.”  I pretty much covered that in the last post.

Next, “If Only…”   Although I don’t often use these words, I have been guilty of letting them cloud my thoughts.   There’s no good to come of “If Only.”   What ever is, is.

Third, “Too late” and “too old.”    It is not, and neither am I.

Au revoir o’ limiting words.  Allez-y!  (Sort of “go away” in french.)

I also gave myself a present for Christmas.  Art. Colored pencils and pens at hand, I’m finally beginning to put to paper those silly grinning flowers that have been flitting around in my head for years.   They don’t look like my mind’s eye yet, but I’ll keep working on them. 

It’s an interesting side note that drawing has lead to more writing and more ideas for articles.   More on that in my next post.

So, what words, phrases, or thoughts need a proper Viking send off in your life?

THAT is the question….

I recently had an interesting revelation.  I realized I was doing many things, particularly around building a business, because I thought I “should.”   I started this blog because I was told I should.  I’ve attended seminars, hired a coach, worked trade-shows, made sales calls…all because I should.

I’m up to my eyeballs in should.

How about you?  Lots of should in your life?   I’m willing to bet you are your own worst enemy.  I definitely pile more should on myself than anyone – although family and friends often help.   The problem is that sometimes we get so buried in it, we can’t make any progress.   And this was definitely happening to me for two reasons:

One – my should list was too long.

Two – I didn’t like doing too many things on my should list.  So, I just didn’t do them.  The result?  Well, I wasn’t making any progress! 

Sound familiar?

Does this mean that we should, uh-oh there I go again…But, what about obligations?  Don’t we all have obligations and commitments that need to be kept?  In other words, aren’t there shoulds in our life that need to be there?

Absolutely.  I’m not advocating poor behavior or shirking of responsibilities.

What I am asking is this, “Is there any chance that you aren’t making progress in some area of your life where you’d like to because either you’ve loaded yourself up with so much should you can’t move, OR you’re not doing what you love because you think you shouldn’t?”

Here’s my example.  I like to write, write well most of the time, and would prefer to make money writing than necessarily speaking in front of a group or working a booth at a trade show.  And I’d rather write than make any kind of sales call ever.  I’ve been in sales.  I’m done with sales.

But, I wasn’t writing.  I was out doing what my coach told me to do.  And she was absolutely correct that I needed to do those things to get to a certain level of success in that business.  But I was miserable.  Because I wasn’t doing what I loved/wanted to do, and I hated what I had to do to succeed.   Double-edged sword, isn’t it?

So I reset my compass.  I started writing again.  All kinds of writing.  Look, I’m updating my blog for the first time in ages!  I’ve been working on articles and sending out queries to magazines.  I’m going to re-focus on selling articles to magazines, websites, and newspapers.   I can make money doing this.   And I’m SO much more relaxed and happier!  

Am I making a fortune overnight?  NOPE.  

Am I on a better track?  YES.

So do I still believe you can make money doing what you love?  I do.  Was I doing it, or even trying to do it?  No, I wasn’t.  

I’m re-christening this site the No Should Zone.    You bring the martini (or beverage of choice!) and I’ll bring the shovel.  Let’s dig you out of the should that’s keeping you from getting where you truly want to be.

What do you LOVE to do?   How can you make money doing it?  Let the brainstorming begin.

Do you consider yourself someone who lacks passions?

Is it that you love everything?  Want to read every book, take every class, go on every trip?  Are you full of ideas, but don’t like to execute them?  Or, do you get ideas, try to execute them, and then lose interest?

Welcome to The Club.

My list of careers, jobs, and projects is pretty extensive.   There are some good things about this.  One, I know a lot about a lot.  I’m the person my friends call when they need to know something.  They figure I’ll either know it, or know where to find it.  They’re usually right.   Two, I’m hell at Trivial Pursuit…don’t play against me.  

The downside?  First, it can be difficult to find long-term financial success when you don’t do much long-term!  Second, I had begun to think of myself as a person who lacked passions.  When asked to name what I was passionate about, I would flail.   Mainly because things I THOUGHT I was passionate about in the past, I would subsequently lose interest in.  Sometimes over time; sometimes later that day.

Does this feel familiar to you?

If so, welcome to The Club.   You aren’t nearly as crazy or messed up as your loving family, devoted friends, and dependable co-workers may have convinced you.   And chances are, you DO have passions – most likely buried somewhere because they weren’t blessed with these words of societal acceptance:

A WAY TO MAKE A LIVING

If this feels in any way familiar to you, please come join me on the trek to uncovering what really makes you tick.  Then, we’ll work on how to make a living with it.   Me, yes I DO have passions.  They are: Commercial Aviation (flying and traveling), Writing, Reading, and Scrapbooking.  These are four constants I’ve loved my entire life.  I’ve flitted with many different things, but these…these I LOVE.

And, I’m making it work.  I have a job in commercial aviation and I travel both for work and personally.  I’ve been published as a travelwriter, which is such a natural side business I’ve overlooked getting serious about it.  I’m working on tying in the scrapbooking.  

Anyone for a scrapbooking retreat where you learn photography techniques in the morning, sightsee the day, and scrap all evening?  Ooooh…sounds like heaven to me!

Kimberly

Unfortunately, it may be the latter, but too quickly diagnosed as a mental health issue such as depression.    With the wide use of anti-depressant medications today, it’s a good idea for anyone considering their use to feel confident that they really do need mood altering drugs.   Understanding some similarities between sleep deprivation and depression may help you as you converse with your medical advisor.

Five symptoms common to depression and sleep deprivation are:

• Insomnia – an inability to either get to sleep or stay asleep
• Malaise – Feeling sad, empty, irritable
• Appetite Issues – Eating all the time or not at all
• Difficulty Concentrating – Slowing of thought processes and performance
• Fatigue – Desire to sleep all the time, low energy

As you read the list, some of these symptoms are contradictory – if you are fatigued, take a nap, right?  But, that may be the problem.  You feel exhausted, yet you can’t sleep when you try.  Or, you fall asleep, only to awaken in the middle of the night and not be able to return to sleep.   Then, all day, you have no energy or zip.   Or, you feel hungry, but you stand there staring at the contents of the refridgerator because nothing appeals to you.

Each of these can happen to anyone occassionally, or for a period of time, but when it becomes chronic it’s a good idea to see a medical professional.     Before you go, make a list of when this is happening – are there certain “triggers” such as having an infant in the house or shift-work? How long have you noticed any of the symptoms?  When did you realize it was affecting you during the day?  These are all answers that will help your doctor or health practitioner determine what’s happening.

In order to make sure that you don’t begin taking anti-depressant medications unnecessarily, be sure to follow the general recommendation of getting a second opinion from a physician.

Knowledge is power.  Understanding these common symptoms of both depression and sleep deprivation can help you ask better questions and take charge of your health and well-being.

This is a personal subject for me.  I was once incorrectly diagnosed as suffering from depression.  It was later determined to have been acute sleep deprivation.  It took two years to undo the adverse physical affects of the medications.  I am not a doctor and am not offering medical advice.  Rather, Id like to raise awareness of the possibility of over-prescription of anti-depressants, particularly in professional women with young children.  Resources used in writing this article include http://www.webmd.com and http://www.nurseweb.villanova.edu

 Kimberly

In full disclosure, I’ve been out of the true MBA type job for many many years. Nonetheless, I have many friends still slogging away in this environment, and it’s something I’ve studied a great deal. So, here’s why I think women with MBAs are much more likely than other advanced-degreed females to opt-out for a time, or drop-out completely.

“Flextime” Isn’t.

While there are many corporations out there touting their flexible work-schedule policies, the reality is that this just means the employee has some freedom to get their work done at a time that works best for them. It rarely means a lessening of the work load itself.

And that’s the problem. If companies want to keep their female talent, they HAVE to find a way to lessen the workload during certain phases of life, in particular while the worker has kids under driving age, without dealing a death blow to the individual’s career. Why? Because in a choice between family and the company, women MBAs in particular are throwing in the proverbial towel and the company is losing the talent.   It’s corporate nose-cutting and face-spiting.

Yes, this is a huge cultural change, and newer industries such as high-tech are doing an admirable job getting there. But the old guard is still willing to lose the talent rather than adjust. Their loss.

Lesser Sunk Costs

An MBA can be obtained in two years of full-time study.  So, the graduate has fewer years, and thus dollars, invested in obtaining the degree itself.  In addition, recent MBA graduates typically go directly into corporate positions, albeit at the bottom of the ladder, rather than into low paid internships and residencies or associate positions.    

If they decide to simply get out, the loss isn’t as great as a doctor who may have five to eight years of study invested or a lawyer who has been slaving away to make partner.   

Reality Bites

To coin a decade old movie, the realities of managing a household, a demanding position, a marriage, networking, and the other responsibilities of an executive female just don’t cut it on the happiness scale.    While men have been doing this for eons, and I’m in no way the first person to say it, the truth is that the sacrifices this entails are harder on women.  Period. 

We suffer more the loss of the time with our kids and friends and missing important events in their lives. Even with help – maids, aupairs, gardeners, secretaries – we still have to manage their work and that takes time.   The bottom line becomes not the balance sheet, but the lifestyle choice.

There just comes a point when the joy is gone from everything, and that’s when the smart, creative, talented, and valuable MBA Woman walks.

I know.  I’ve been there.

If you are there, give me call.  I get it.  Maybe I can help.

Ever hear about someone’s job and think, “wow, now that’s a dream job?”   Chances are, it didn’t start out that way.

There are really two options for you if you want to have one of those elusive “dream” jobs.  The first is to create one yourself by designing your own dream business around the things you love to do.  

The second is to find a dream job as an employee for someone else.   And, the reality is, most of those type jobs weren’t conceived by the employer.   Most of the time, those jobs were created by someone who was already working for the company in a different capacity.

And that’s the big secret…most dream jobs are inside jobs.  That is, they wind up getting created by someone already employed, who builds a case for either creating or modifying a position into their perfect job.  

I’ve actually been able to do this on two occasions.  The first, I worked for a large telecommunications firm.  I was newly pregnant, and wanted to stop traveling.  There was a job posted that would be perfect for me, except it was located at our division offices 400 miles away.  I approached the director about taking the position and doing it from home.  Although they hadn’t considered that option, we agreed to let me do it that way until I had the baby.  Then, we would reassess.  It was so successful, I wound up working “virtual” for six years. Yet, the job would never have been posted on a board as a “telecommuting” position.   

The second time, I’ve been able to use work rules and scheduling options to make a job part-time.  I get full benefits, but only work about half the month.

The drawback in both cases is that this “perfect” setup rarely lasts forever.   In the first case, the company ultimately outsourced the work I was doing and the job went away. In the second, the company is being acquired and the new company may not offer the same options.

So, how do you create a “dream job?”

Get a job, almost any job, in the industry or with the specific company where you want to work.

Do really well.  Establish a name for yourself.  Become indispensable.

Study the company to see if there are any existing positions that would fit your dream with doable changes (such as working from home). 

Approach management with your idea.

If they say “no,” consider going out on your own to do the work as a consultant.

If working for an employer, and the restrictions that demands on your life and time just aren’t working for you, please allow me to give you a complimentary consultation on your other options!

Do you have a dream of getting paid to do something you love, but are financially tied to a demanding full-time job? Since you can’t manufacture minutes or hours, you’re going to have to use the ones you already have more efficiently.

One – Time Zones

This may seem obvious, but one of the first things you can do is take advantage of time-zone differences.   Regardless of whether you are providing a service, such as consulting or coaching, or a physical product, you can use your least productive times such as early morning or late night, to market or conduct business in time zones where these are peak business hours.   Someone located in the central or mountain time zone could gain an hour in the morning and two or three in the evening doing business on the coasts.   The middle of the night in the U.S. is the middle of the day in much of Australia.   Are you going to give up some sleep? Yes. Be judicious and select one or two days a week to work longer hours so you don’t burn out. 

Two – Saturdays

Saturdays are excellent days to conduct classes, seminars, or money-making events.   Whether you are staffing your own booth or table at an event or festival, or actually conducting a seminar where people pay you for what you are sharing, Saturdays are your best chance to get ahead.  

Three – Vacation

You can take your vacation time and turn it into a week long intensive on finding customers and conducting business.  The idea here is simple.  We are trying to get you to a place where you are in complete control of your schedule.  When we get there, you can take all the time you want to surf, visit Tahiti, or climb Machu Picchu.  Right now, your “free” time has a purpose; getting you more of it in the long term.

Four – Lunch

Yes, I know.  You have to eat.  But, do you need an hour to do it every day?  Take two days a week and bring a sandwich and use your lunch hour to make calls and or conduct laser coaching sessions.   I’m not suggesting you stop taking an hour for lunch every single day.  Clearly, some days you just need the breather from the morning tasks or to re-energize for the afternoon.  Or, maybe this is when you get your exercise.   But, if you are typically taking an hour or so for lunch, and spending it just socializing or meandering, this is a spot for you to pick up one to two productive hours per week.

Bottom line, if you are going to build a business on the side, you need to be prepared to work harder for a period of time.  What combination of the above could you utilize to buy yourself some extra hours to make your dream come true?

These days, many people are starting small businesses.   Your friends may say they want to help, but you’ll need to tell them exactly what you need them to do.  

One – Give Your Product or Service a Try

Whether you are doing direct sales, opening a brick-and-mortar store, or providing a service that you deliver on the customer premises, it will really help you to have your friends try it out.  In fact, I recommend offering it free, or close to free (or a sample) to get feedback, testimonials, and referrals.  This is particularly important if they aren’t really sure what you do or sell. 

Two – Tell Five Friends about You

Once they’ve tried your product or service, ask them if they know five people they’d be willing to share it with.  Ask if you may contact the friends and use the referral.  This is the hardest one, but also the one that will get you the best leads.  Tell your friend what to say when they call, and keep it as low pressure as possible.

Three – Send an Email to Their Address Book or Post on Their Social Media

This is much less scary for them than giving you their friend’s contact information because it’s less personal.  The result will be a lower rate of response, but it still helps get the word out.   Take publicity in whatever form you can get it; positive is better than negative!

Four – Allow You to Have a Table or Display at Their Business

Do you have friends who are doctors, or own a retail location?   Ask if you can set up a table to display your wares or offer on-the-spot consulting.   This will help you refine your terminology and presentation, and may garner leads you can follow up with later.

Five – Keep You in Mind and Carry Your Business Cards or Flyers

This is the shotgun approach that may never pan out.  But how many times have you met someone who could use a product or business you know about, but you don’t have the contact information handy to pass to them?  Ask five friends to keep 10 of your business cards in their briefcase or glove compartment.  You could even offer a gift of some type to the friend who gives them out first.

The bottom line is that most of your friends genuinely want you to succeed, but honestly have no idea how to help unless it involves buying something from you they may or may not need.  If you can demonstrate up front that you won’t ask them to spend money, and can give them specific guidelines for how to help you grow, it’s a win for everyone.

In the never-ending quest for profitability and efficiency (and trying desperately to survive in an over-regulated environment), employers are coming up with what one writer has dubbed “superjobs.”  What’s this?  More work for the same or less money, that’s what.  Should you do it? 

I have mixed feelings on this, but think you should take the following three things into consideration as your employer consumes more and more of your time and expertise.

Your Health

About nine years ago, my quite lovely corporate job began a  process of downsizing and outsourcing.   As my work group shrank from 600 people to nothing over a course of 18 months, those of us who remained had to take on increasingly difficult work.   At the end, our work week was virtually around the clock as we were on 24/7 pagers, and every single project was a bloody disaster.   The impact?  Sleep disorders, excessive fatigue, not enough exercise, and elevated blood-pressure and heart rates.  People were dropping to take stress-induced medical leaves like flies.       But, this was a high-paying job with a lot of benefits and many of us felt trapped.  Without a doubt, our company took advantage of that.    

As an employee, are you being overworked to the point of health compromise?  As an employer, are you doing this to your people?  What are the long-term consequences?

Your Experience

To be sure, working through a period of intense productivity can be a valuable item for your resume.   Can you gain some particular skill by taking on a “superjob?”   The bottom line is whether or not there is a specific, measurable benefit to you for taking and staying with a job that consumes an increasing amount of your time and life without additional compensation.

Your Leverage

Be leery of the trap of the increased productivity without additional compensation becoming the new reality.   If you are asked to take on an additional area of responsibility without compensation, negotiate something in return.  Perhaps you could work from home one day a week or contain it to a specific time frame.

Another consideration, as demented as this may seem, is that taking on these additional tasks may give you increased job security in an unstable market.    Can you bide your time doing more until the tide turns and you can demand additional compensation or time off in exchange?   While this might be anyone’s guess, if you are thinking in these terms from the beginning, you should be prepared to take advantage later on.  

The risk?  The increased responsibility becomes the new normal, and there’s a line of people who would be delighted to do your job if you leave.  For less.

At that point, you simply have to choose.  Is it worth it?

If you are ready to get off the treadmill, I can help.